Inspire

Today I found this little tiny charm that fell off one of my charm bracelets a long time ago. It says "inspire" on it. That's so fitting, because I feel really inspired today. My mind is full of SO many thoughts, some of them great and some of them nonsense, so I'm going to try to get a bunch out while they're fresh in my head.

1) Tonight I watched the movie "No Impact Man." It's about a family in NYC who decides to try to make no environmental impact (no detrimental impact, anyway) for a year. They stop generating garbage, stop using electricity, ride their bikes everywhere, shop only at the farmers market, stop going to restaurants, stop buying everything unless it's from a consignment shop or something, etc. They take it to an extreme, for sure, but it's inspiring too. There are so many benefits to doing these things -- less pollution, healthier eating, making the world a cleaner place with less TRASH, learning to live with what you have, saving money, SIMPLIFYING, evaluating what is REALLY important and what's not. I've been thinking that soon I should start seriously monitoring my spending, because who knows what I'm doing for work come September and when the time comes that I want to stay at home with the babes for a couple years, I don't want to say, I wish I had that $3 I spent twice a week on a cup of chai. I'm all about cheap thrills like coffee shops, but that money adds up. I guess the bottom line that I got from the movie is BE AWARE -- be aware of what you're eating, what you're buying, why you're traveling, how you're spending your time. Good stuff.

2) That brings me to my next point: money/working/careers. I work hard. I feel like I always have worked hard. I don't remember a time in my life when I just chilled out. I worked through high school and college, I always worked in the summer, I started working immediately after college. I understand people (like my husby) who think that while you are young you should work super hard and make as much money as you can so you can take it easier when you are older. Although I understand that mentality, I kind of disagree. Young couples without kids should try to make as much money as possible. That I agree with. I feel strongly that when you have kids and they are young, you should try to spend as much time with them as possible. A year goes by in like, a minute. Your kids will grow up in a minute. We will be 50 in the blink of an eye. So sad, but true. Life goes by way too fast and do you want to look back on it and realize you spent it all at work? Obviously, money is a necessity, and life is easier if you don't have to worry about money. But for me personally, when are kids are back in school, I plan to work hard and pursue dreams and find the perfect career for me and make good money and feel really fulfilled doing it. But I just can't help but feel that now isn't the time for that. It doesn't mean I'm lazy, it doesn't mean I don't want to work. I'm just distracted. I want to make as much money as I can, and spend it wisely, and have 3 babies, and raise them. Maybe I belong in the 50s but I feel like while our kids are young we should find a way to raise them on one income. I know that's old fashioned but it really means a lot to me. I don't want our children raised in daycare. I regret not teaching this year. My heart aches when I'm in a classroom and I realize it should be me there. I know I shouldn't put my life on hold for infertility and I have done that. But at the same time, I don't want to put our family on hold for a job. The future is uncertain, and I will work until we have children. I'm going to start being super aware of what we spend our money on, and really simplify. I'm excited about this.

3) Speaking of goals, for years I've said I want to be a runner when I grow up. I just do. I can't explain it. I'm not a good runner or a fast runner. It's hard for me. But with the challenge is the rewards. It feels SO good to be getting back into a running program and I feel healthier when I'm running regularly than I do with any other exercise -- and I've tried everything. Running outside is just the most wonderful experience. I'm halfway through my 5K plan and I plan to immediately start a 10K plan after it. I haven't picked out races, and that's not as important to me as the routine. I really need a treadmill for the fall/winter so I can do this year round. It's one of those things that means a lot to me that I can't really explain.

4) Also on my mind -- we have a lot of fun coming up! Our calendar is getting pretty full and I feel like these distractions, along with running and mindful spending are enough to distract me from constant thoughts of infertility for awhile, and that's really healthy. I feel pretty confident that we'll get pregnant in the next few months. I don't know why, I just feel that way. And I hope it happens but even if it doesn't, I need to focus on happiness right now.

So anyway, upcoming events:
- This weekend (Fri-Sunday) we'll be in CT. I want to just chill out & visit. We're seeing RENT on Saturday! :)

- Apr 30-May 2: Jamie visits

- May 11-14: Corey will be in Baltimore and he's job shadowing me and I'll try to teach him everything I know. :) It's inevitable that I'll totally overwhelm him, but it will feel really good to not feel responsible for EVERYTHING.

- May 12-16: Joe will be here, overlapping with Corey's visit. We'll work and have some fun too.

- June 4-7: Emmy & Tom are visiting, we're going to the zoo and a baseball game.

- June 25-28: NARTS conference in Palm Beach. Work + Fun.

- July & August: WORK HALF TIME! :)

- July 17: JACK JOHNSON!

- July 30- August 8: In Maine for a week. Possibly hiking Katahdin, Ryan & Mal's wedding.

That's enough rambling for now!