I miss running

I really, really miss it.

It's hard to explain though. I've never run fast or far. My longest run EVER was probably around 4.5 miles. BUT. I always have turned to running in hard times, and I've always felt my healthiest (mentally and physically) when I've been running semi-regularly, even if it's only a couple miles a few times per week. Running is hard for me. I have to run regularly or else I'm always starting over from scratch. I'm not an outdoor runner in the winter, so other than the years I had a gym membership (ahh, college), I always started over in the spring.

I remember running around my neighborhood in CT on summer nights the summer before college. I constantly ran the trails around Somerset the fall of my breakup with Brian. I ran around our little neighborhood in Old Town during senior year. When we lived downtown, I would run to the harbor and back. Last spring when I was feeling my most frustrated with IF treatments, I ran a loop around Hopkins all spring and summer and LOVED IT.

I look back on all of those runs over the years in all those different locations and it just helps me reflect. I've gotten through so many hard times with those runs. I learned to push through and feel the accomplishment at the end. Running is about a PERSONAL goal, it has nothing to do with anyone else and how far or fast they run. It's about doing something for yourself. Running is something you can CONTROL, and I'm sure everyone struggling with infertility knows the stress of not being able to control it. You don't know how long your IF journey will be, or how it will end, and there's really nothing you can do about it. You CAN control how many miles you will run in a week.

I haven't been able to exercise this pregnancy, first because of overstimmed ovaries from the injects, then because of the SCH, and now because of CONSTANT BH. I've always exercised regularly. Since...I don't even know. Before high school. Sure I've had lazy months, but I have never, ever gone this long without exercise and I don't feel like myself. I feel UNHEALTHY. I know I can gradually regain my fitness level after the babes and I am SO excited about it!

We're getting a treadmill, and on off days I plan to do some Jillian Michaels DVDs, which I LOVE. This summer, no matter where we are living or where life takes us, I plan to be running around our neighborhood and loving it.