NOT excited to tell

11w5d

I'm not excited to announce our pregnancy. We've only told our immediate families with the exception of my brother, who will find out tomorrow. We're letting my mom tell people this weekend, and we'll tell our Maine friends when we see them this weekend.

I just wish we could wait a few more weeks before ANYONE knew. It sucks that I feel this way.

It's partly because I still feel like anything can go wrong at any time. I am painfully aware that pregnancy does not always end with a baby. Most people are blissfully unaware of this.

And the other part is that these people weren't there to support us during our IF struggle, so I feel like this isn't their news. It's not about them, at all. They can't comprehend what this means to us, so it feels a little fake. People feel that it adds joy to tell other people they are pregnant. For me it adds stres instead. Maybe in a few weeks I will feel better, or maybe after the NT scan my stress level will go down. I've just felt uneasy over the past 2 weeks, and I really can't help it.

I don't want it on facebook. I just deactivated my wall so people can't write comments.

I think those who went through IF and/or m/c understand these feelings and feel similarly. Those that haven't don't understand at all and think it's totally weird not to want to share the news.

Sigh.